How to keep the conversation going on a second date

Keeping the conversation going on a second date is critical in the progression of your relationship. It will either encourage a deeper bond or make you realize that the two of you are not well matched.

To keep things entertaining, try discussing tv shows or movies. This is a light subject that will allow you to learn more about your date without getting too personal.

1. Ask Questions

Talking about the things that really interest you is one of the best ways to keep the conversation going on a second date. It can help you feel more connected to your date and gives you an opportunity to show that you are interested in them as a person.

Asking questions about their interests, hobbies and passions shows that you care. It also helps you assess if their interests are similar to your own, which can be a good indicator of potential compatibility in a relationship.

If your date is open about past relationships, asking them about their worst heartbreak can reveal a more raw side of their personality. It can also give you a sense of how emotionally invested they are in the relationship. Asking about their most joyous memory is another way to lift the mood if the conversation starts getting heavy. It can also help you learn what makes them happy and whether their values are in line with yours.

2. Talk About Yourself

Discussing your personal life a little bit more than on the first date can be a good way to build intimacy. For example, asking your date where they see themselves in five years can give you a better sense of whether your life plans align.

You can also ask your date about what they do for fun, sex therapist Dr. Lexx Brown-James says. This can be a great conversation topic and might reveal some quirky things about your date that you may not have known before.

Similarly, you can also ask your date about their favorite childhood memory or even their biggest pet peeve. These kinds of topics can add some levity to the conversation and keep it from feeling like a job interview, Dr. Brown-James explains. It’s important to avoid talking too much about your ex, however, as that can feel too intimate for a second date. Besides, you’ll likely want to save that discussion for later in the relationship.

3. Remind Your Date of the First Date

In an episode of the Simpsons (sidebar: holy shit that show is old), Ralph Wiggum asks Lisa Simpson out on a date after she gives him a Valentine’s Day card. Unfortunately for him, his question has a major structural flaw: it’s closed-ended. Asking questions that only have two possible answers can shut down conversation and make your date feel pressured.

Asking open-ended questions is a great way to get your date to talk and opens the door for further discussion. For example, asking about her favorite movies will give her a chance to share something about herself while also giving you the opportunity to ask follow-up questions.

Another great question to ask is, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” This is a good way to find out how serious your date is about a relationship and can help you assess whether your life goals converge or are incompatible.

4. Get Physical

A second date is an excellent time to initiate some physical affection, but make sure your date is comfortable with it. It’s important to gauge their comfort level, especially if they’re not into public displays of affection.

You can also use the second date as an opportunity to talk about your past relationships, but avoid talking badly about your ex. This will only give your date a negative perception of you.

Instead, try asking about their favorite hobbies or what they like to do for fun. These topics will allow you to talk about things that you have in common and show your date that you’re interested in them as a person.

You can also use the second date as an occasion to give compliments. People love to hear compliments, and they will appreciate the effort that you put into making them feel good about themselves. If they respond well, you can ask them out on a third date!